Club SEAT Romania - clubul pasionatilor de modele ale marcii SEAT

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dany19940
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Re: Bancuri

30 Oct 2018, 05:40

Afis pe peretele interior al unei firme:

"Angajatii care vin la munca un pic mai tarziu sunt rugati sa mearga pe partea dreapta a coridorului, ca sa nu se ciocneasca cu angajatii care pleaca mai devreme!".
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
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dany19940
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Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

05 Noi 2018, 05:42

Autobuzul se apropie de statie unde asteapta mai multi calatori. Un batranel se indreapta spre o tanara mama, ce isi tinea copilul in brate, si o intreaba sfios:
- Nu va suparati, merge la Politehnica?
- Da, cand o creste!
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
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dany19940
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Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

10 Noi 2018, 05:43

- Mami, de ce nu mai mergem azi la buni?
- Buni... e intr-un loc mai bun...
- E la Doamne-Doamne?
- Nu, mami, e la Cluj!
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
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dany19940
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Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

11 Noi 2018, 05:40

Un tip intra intr-o farmacie.
- Buna ziua! Aveti ceva contra tusei?
- Nu, domnule, puteti tusi cat vreti.
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
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dany19940
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Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

15 Noi 2018, 05:38

"Tati, ce inseamna sarcasm? ", ma intreaba fiul meu in varsta de sase ani.
- Fiule, sarcasmul este atunci cand mama ta imi spune ca am dreptate.
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
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dany19940
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Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

16 Noi 2018, 07:56

- Mama, pot sa fiu pedepsita pentru ceva ce nu am facut?
- Sigur ca nu.
- Deci nu poti sa ma pedepsesti pentru ca nu am facut curat in camera mea.
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
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dany19940
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Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

17 Noi 2018, 06:33

- Frate, ce ai, ce stai asa trist?
- Sezi, frate, iti povestesc.
- Ok. Spune. Ce ai patit?
- Mai pe scurt, banca e proaspat vopsita.
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...

 
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dany19940
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Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

26 Noi 2018, 10:42

Sotia vine acasa in timp ce sotul este in sufragerie si se uita la televizor.
- Dragul meu, uite, aici, o bere pentru tine. O sa te uiti la fotbal, nu? Vrei sa gatesc ceva? Ai vreo preferinta?
- Ia zi, cat de tare ai lovit-o?
- Doar putin, dragule... farul din dreapta, capota si parbrizul...
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
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dany19940
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Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

27 Noi 2018, 05:43

Doi logodnici viziteaza un apartament proaspat finisat, pe care ar dori sa-l cumpere.
- Sunt bine gandite dulapurile astea in perete, remarca barbatul.
- Da, dragule, si extrem, extrem de incapatoare.
- Scuzati, intervine agentul imobiliar, dar nu-s dulapuri, sunt chiar camerele!
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
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dany19940
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Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

29 Noi 2018, 05:46

Un barbat intra intr-o reprezentanta auto si ii spune managerului:
- Sotia mea ar dori sa discutati despre Loganul din vitrina.
- Imi pare rau, domnule, dar nu avem nici un Logan in vitrina.
- Credeti-ma pe cuvant... acum aveti!
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
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dany19940
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Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

30 Noi 2018, 08:28

Dupa o zi intreaga petrecuta pe balta, sotul pescar se intoarce acasa foarte suparat.
- Azi n-am pescuit nimic, draga mea.
- Stiam, iubitule, ti-ai uitat banii acasa.
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
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dany19940
Moderator
Mesaje: 8158
Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
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Re: Bancuri

02 Dec 2018, 10:13

- Salut, colega! Vai, de cand nu ne-am mai vazut, au trecut cinci ani de la bacalaureat! Ai terminat Dreptul?
- Da, sunt licentiat!
- Bravo, ma bucur! Vreau si eu un meniu Big Mac mare...
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
Avatar utilizator
dany19940
Moderator
Mesaje: 8158
Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
Localitate: Onesti
Contact:

Re: Bancuri

06 Dec 2018, 05:51

Anunt important:

"Salut, am nevoie de ajutorul vostru. Am un Saint-Bernard alb, de doi ani, dar nu pot sa-l mai tin, deoarece prietena mea e alergica la par de caine. Deci care aveti suflet bun si vreti sa ma ajutati, o cheama Ramona si are 21 de ani".
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
Avatar utilizator
dany19940
Moderator
Mesaje: 8158
Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
Localitate: Onesti
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Re: Bancuri

08 Dec 2018, 07:09

Anunt la rubrica pierderi:
"Pierdut portofel cu salariul meu in el. Il rog pe cel care-l gaseste sa nu rada de mine!"
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
 
Avatar utilizator
dany19940
Moderator
Mesaje: 8158
Membru din: 20 Iul 2008, 19:28
Localitate: Onesti
Contact:

Re: Bancuri

13 Dec 2018, 09:38

In urma unui studiu, s-a constatat ca 49% dintre accidente se intampla dupa ce rostesti cuvintele:
- "Ia uite ce pot eu!".
Restul de 51% au loc dupa ce se rostesc cuvintele:
- "Nu asa, ma, iti arat eu cum se face!".
Toledo 1M/AUS/1,6/16V /115CP midnight blue metallic
Arosa 6H/AUB/1,4/16V/107CP rosu

"I didn't mod my car to be faster/better than other cars, I modded my car so its faster/better than it was before the mod"
"When events test men, angels then appear" - Cand timpurile ii pun la incercare pe oameni, atunci apar ingerii...
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